Losing it...

I started bleeding on Friday afternoon. I wasn't too worried because it was light pink and barely anything. Later that night it turned to brown, stopped through the night and then brown in the morning. I kept my hopes high because I heard brown blood isn't bad. It just means it's old blood. But then I started to see red...bright red. Which is a bad sign. I don't have a dr yet and of course it's the Labor day holiday weekend so there aren't any dr. offices opened. I called the midwife that we talked to on Thursday and she was happy to do an ultrasound for me. She was so sweet and understanding and willing to answer any questions for me and I wasn't even her patient. We did see the baby in the ultrasound. It was way too small to be able to see any movement but it was in there.

Starting yesterday I was having some mild cramping and it's gotten worse today. I feel awful. Like on my period only this time I can't take anything for it. Well, I can take tylenol, but what's that gonna do? The blood is getting more and more red. The midwife and nurses I've talked to all said that now it's pretty much a waiting game. Wait to see what happens. If I have severe cramping where it's really painful and bright red blood then most likely I've lost the baby. I have also been told it could be a number of things, it could've been twins and I lost just one, it could be a period (which is normal), it could be a irritated cervix, it could be implantation bleeding, etc. So I'm told to wait and see after a week if I'm still pregnant. It's hard to be patient when you know you could be losing your baby. I'm trying to be hopeful but not get my hopes up.